He's a Tweener!!!

In the last month or so it has hit me. 6, 5, 4, 3... weeks left of fifth grade.  Actually what hit me was the pungent smell of dirty, sweaty boy feet as I entered Jack's room to tell him to turn off the light and go to sleep at 10:30. Seriously, the boy who has always required a solid 12 hours starting at 7 pm, is now up at all hours of the night. 11- that must be what it is.

CHA- CHA- CHANGES... turn and face the... zits? WHAT?

And don't even get me started on his B.A.D. attitude. This kid has a scowl that rivals his mother's.

The Doctor diagnosed him as being a teenager. I want my sweet boy back. DREAD!

Perspective...

Reality bites. But I am pretty sure that I can handle whatever my reality is because of perspective. I can deal with my own stuff, but everyone else's' seems overwhelming.

Perspective-

• I have a co-worker whose son was diagnosed with leukemia in November, he is the same age as Jack.
• I have a friend who only gets $75 a month in child support and has her children 99% of the time. Single mother working her butt off to provide for her kids.
• I have two friends who have recently undergone mastectomies for breast cancer. I am too young for this... right?
• Autism. Bankruptcy. Cheating spouses. Grandparents who don't want to spend time with their grandchildren. Sick parents.

I don't know if I could handle these realities. The thought of them brings me to tears.

All things considered, I think I am pretty lucky. I have two children who are not perfect but I think are pretty special. I have a great group of friends and family, who believe in me, who support me. I can't ask for more. So when this happens -

 

you take a deep breath and handle it. Why? Because it wouldn't have happened if I couldn't have handled it. It is all about perspective.

Honestly...

I pride myself on being honest about things, some may mistake it for brutal honesty- SORRY. But the none the less I am honest. I come by it honestly... if you know my mother she says what is on her mind 99% of the time (pun intended).

Here is what I look like in the morning. Sexy isn't it?

I like to believe that I have a moderate improvement in my looks at some point during the day when I decide to shower, dress, and put makeup on. This is a very bad hair morning, but a product of an awesome night of sleep.

48 of my Facebook Friends think that this  picture post this morning was likable and 23 thought that it was comment worthy.

This is me. No excuses! Honestly...

 

 

Medalist!!!

Science Fair work started at Thanksgiving. Jack worked on selecting 5 different topics to research and experiment. None of this was easy, especially when you don't really want to listen to what your parents have to say about things. In the end, Steve and I offered our assistance when we could but Jack did an amazing job on his project all on his own, down to typing all of the written material and using the computer to create a chart to show his data.

I was happy to find out that he earned 100% on the completed project. And even more thrilled to hear that he placed in his school's Science Fair competition. Out of 72 fifth graders he earned a 2nd Place  Medal.

Jack and the other 5th grade medalists

The completed project

Meet Charlie...

Abby has wanted a dog of her own for years. She had asked Santa for a puppy for the last 3 years. Luckily, Santa is smart and asks moms and dads if kids are ready to take care of a puppy before delivering one to a unprepared child on Christmas Eve and Abby has asked for long lists of other things that she "needed". This year Santa was stunned to see just one gift request on Abby's list- a puppy. After a long conversation with Santa, it was determined that Abby was ready for a dog. This dog...





Charlie-

The King Charles Cavalier

Born on July 20, 2012- the day after Abby's birthday!

Charlie is quite the character. He loves the kids and they BOTH love him. There is much debate about WHO Charlie gets to sleep with, who gets to feed him, who gets to sit with him, who puts him in the crate in the morning... oddly enough, no one is fighting over picking up his poop.



Holding on or Letting go... Holiday Edition

We have moved out, I am trying not to hold on. The holidays is presenting a problem of Christmases past- family traditions, memorable decorations, and time spent with loved ones. Last year, Abby in all of her 6 years of wisdom announced that "Santa has never disappointed me, and neither has MOM AND DAD." No pressure right? I am a Christmas hoarder, I love Christmas decorations, Christmas trees, Christmas music, Christmas parties (and Hanukkah, too), Christmas cards and letters, Christmas movies, the list is endless.

When we moved out I gave away one of my favorite fake Christmas trees, the one that is used to display holiday card from friends and family- letting go. I brought with me 2 trees each with their own significance and box full of memories- holding on. For a woman who used to have a 4000 square foot house that would display 7 trees during the holidays, 2 trees is quite the downgrade.

Today's struggle is with holding on or letting go. He brought over 20 boxes of Christmas decorations yesterday. I want nothing to do with any of it really, I am ready to let go. But then there are the kids to think about, the expectation of Christmas is pretty high. So what do I hold on to? My brain does not even want to consider any of it, it can all go back. And then I talk to him- "what am I going to do with 17 boxes of Christmas decorations?" he says. Sigh- holding on. Each item I picked holds some memory, a nugget of the past where we were happy, some more significant than others. What do I do with them hold on or let go? I wish I knew the answer, none of this is easy, but being that this is Christmas it makes it that much harder.

Happiness is a Choice...

The path that my life had been on has taken an unexpected turn. I am on a road that I never expected to be on, but I am finding that I am happier than I thought I could be- alone, single, without the big house and all of the things that I believed would make one happy. I have found that I had disconnected from friends and family, reconnecting without conditions and stress. True friends.

I am finding the "old" Rachel.

Welcome back!

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